This story is the one that belongs to my daughter and I. I first wrote the article that became the basis for this blog post back in March 2012 when she was exactly one year old to share with other parents who are wanting to heal their children's allergies and associated symptoms from the inside out, but are being told - just like I was - that it just isn't possible. That all you can do is wait it out and hope for the best.
It was originally centered around my decision to remain breastfeeding her. Many people asked why I would choose to do this when there was easier options out there. It wasn't easy but then I’m not sure anything truly worthwhile ever is.
Our girl was born in the autumn of 2011. We were both kiwis who had been living in Australia a few years, after many hours of labour that resulted in an emergency caesarean. On her second night, the night nurse very clearly frustrated at my regular bell ringing to attend to my crying baby because I couldn't get up to get her myself, gruffly suggested I give her formula to help her sleep since my milk hadn't yet come in. I told her I wanted to exclusively breastfeed for six months but after a while - exhausted, sore and vulnerable and not wanting to be too much bother – I tentatively gave my reluctant permission. The nurse showed me how to use a bottle, she hungrily guzzled 10mls of formula then promptly fell asleep. The next morning I gave her another 5mls, before my milk came in so for the rest of our stay, nursing was encouraged to establish supply and help her jaundice clear.
After we bought her home, I realised how committed I was to breastfeeding. I loved watching her grow and connecting with my baby. While it wasn't fun, it took me ages to get the hang of latching and positioning her, and my right side hurt for several weeks, I persevered and grew more confident.
My husband and I noticed her skin was very dry, especially on her torso and face. My midwife told me this was normal as baby's skin adjusted to being outside the womb. I tried different creams but nothing made a difference. Our daughter was alert and happy, and sleeping well so we didn't question the advice and expectantly waited for her to grow out of it. Except she didn’t. Her skin became even more dry, and then areas on her cheeks started to crust and weep, and the warm creases behind her knees and elbows grew moist and red.
When she was four months old, we moved back to New Zealand and I took her to a Plunket clinic (New Zealand's largest provider of support services for the development, health and well being of children under 5) to be weighed as it felt like she hadn’t grown very much. A month later I weighed her again and it hadn't changed at all. The Plunket nurse was concerned and immediately told us to see a doctor. I made an appointment with a local GP who instantly prescribed a stronger steroid cream. I told her I strongly felt it may be a food issue behind her eczema, that I read of many mothers saying their child's skin was related to cow's milk and was firmly told not to be silly – that eczema was just something some babies had and they’ll grow out of it when they’re ready but the only thing they would help was steroids. I asked for allergy testing, and told this was out of the question for one so young…
Her words weren’t enough to shake an overwhelming instinct I was beginning to feel that my milk was somehow poisoning her. I listened to her dismiss everything I was saying as though she was the expert on my child and not I, and became upset. I was just trying to help my daughter, while she made me feel guilty for not just doing as I was told. She said whatever I did, not to stop drinking dairy - that we need to for strong bones and that there was no relationship between eczema and diet. That it was just bad luck. I left the appointment frustrated, and the last words were a reminder she was now overdue for her second vaccinations and I needed to book them in.
Her first vaccinations had been done in Australia. I wasn't comfortable with doing so but the doctors told me there was no risk, that if there was any dangers they wouldn't be allowed, so I proceeded because I was a "good parent" doing what good parents do. The day after her second vaccinations, she had a massive eczema flare which landed us at A&E late at night. Her body was covered in red itchy flares and she was extremely distressed and hot, but still the recommendations was for stronger steroid cream. My concerns of a link between her vaccinations and health were instantly dismissed. I looked around and realised this system was not going to help me. Not only did nobody make any sense, they seemed actively focused on just giving me scripts rather helping her build good health.
By this point, I no longer got comments from strangers on how beautiful my daughter was. I was however the recipient of unsolicited advice about which magic cream to try next. Looking back at the few photos I took, I can now see a large head on a small frame, skinny legs and arms, swollen lymph nodes, cradle cap and weeping eczema on her cheeks. At a time other babies chubby legs and arms were being cooed over, I got comments like "wow, that looks painful - poor thing."
I wanted to get her tested for allergies so asked friends if they knew of any open-minded GPs who would be compassionate and help me go deeper. That's when I met Dr. Angela Konings. She listened to me, and immediately agreed to run the RAST blood tests which would identify and measure the levels of IgE allergy antibodies in her blood.
Her test results came through on the same day she was weighed for the third time at Plunket showing she was now losing weight. 400 grams. Something was wrong. She had dropped from the 25th to the 3rd percentile within 6 weeks and was deemed Failure to Thrive. The general vibe was now more of panic.
The tests showed that she was severely allergic to dairy, moderately allergic to eggs, peanuts, cats and dogs. A food allergy is when the immune system marks a protein as a threat to the body and activates a range of inflammatory chemicals within the bloodstream to remove it. Reactions can range from skin (hives, eczema) to digestive and for some, anaphylaxis, a potentially fatal systemic shutdown of the body if not treated immediately with adrenaline.
We paid to consult urgently with a private allergy specialist, one of the best in New Zealand and very expensive. He wanted me to stop breastfeeding, to just accept the best thing would be to put her on the hypoallergenic formula Neocate so we could bring her weight up quickly. I didn’t like that idea, to which he said that I was likely in the 1% of women who just couldn’t produce sufficient quality breast milk. I said her nappies were fine, that the allergy test results clearly showed a link and I was happy to remove those foods from my diet. He asked if my daughter was exclusively breastfed and I told him about her 15mls of formula in hospital. This was when he told me he had seen a pattern with his young eczema patients with many having similar experiences. I looked a little incredulous at this point - he was telling me to put her on formula to help her, but also indicating formula was part of the reason we were now sitting in his office. I didn't know much about eczema and allergies yet, but none of it made any sense.
He suggested that we consult with the allergy dietitian at his office that same day. So we did. Again I sat there while she heavily pushed hypoallergenic formula onto me, this time Elecar3e telling me I needed to get my daughter “hooked” on it and to add golden syrup to make it more palatable. She gave me a sponsored free chiller bag and a free tin to try, and told me this focus on using diet to heal was a fad. Her dietary plan for us was centered around processed allergy friendly foods which I wasn't keen on. I stated I wanted to keep breastfeeding my baby for as long as possible, so she said I could look at re-establishing breastfeeding later if I really wanted to (as though this is a very simple 'click your fingers' type thing) but that we just needed to get my daughter’s weight up first.
There was so much pressure and I began to crack. I left their offices that day with an agreement. I had two weeks to try it 'my way', and if by the end of the fortnight, my daughter hadn’t put on 700 grams, I would wean her completely onto Neocate.
Immediately I cut out her allergens from my diet and spent hours on the internet researching eczema and allergies when my baby slept, reading everything I could especially on how these could be resolved. Before I had my daughter, I had worked in corporate management leading a marketing and comms team. I didn't have a marketing degree - or a management one. One thing that had gotten me from being a 17 year old receptionist who finished school with a B Bursary and a hunger to learn on the job rather than in halls, was something called hyperfocus. I could learn new concepts incredibly quickly when I was motivated to, and this was the most motivating experience yet. I decided that as well as eliminating her allergies from my diet, I was also going to remove other foods known for being common gut irritants to reduce the risk my daughter would become sensitised to those as well. Emails were sent to grandparents and I did what many mums of children with allergies do - I became preoccupied by the fear that food would harm my precious baby.
I started to read about gut healing and it sounded WONDERFUL but also extremely overwhelming. I understood the theory behind it - how the gut was related to not just skin but also immunity and it opened up a whole new world of possibilities. Except that the idea of eating fermented cabbage sounded disgusting, so I put it to the side as I got my head around the whole "living with allergies" thing that was now a part of our lives. Because improvement from giving up dairy, gluten, nuts and eggs was not immediate, I got scared and decided to do what everyone had been telling me – give her Neocate top-ups but keep breastfeeding as well, to help her put on weight. Everyone around me seemed relieved at my decision , that I was finally listening and deferring rather than being stubborn, and she hungrily drank the bottles. My husband supported me no matter what I decided but was also enjoying having the opportunity to bottle feed her too. I began to relax a little, this was the best of both worlds.
Over the next six weeks I started giving her more and more formula until she was up to three bottles a day, they went down so easily. Our breastfeeds became quicker and shorter, and I was at a crossroads but what happened next would change everything. I gave her a bottle of Neocate one morning, and she immediately developed hives on her forehead. Neocate is a hypoallergenic formula, it's very reason for existing is that children with cow's milk protein allergies can drink it safely. Hives are our body's way of responding to a substance to which it's sensitive. It was her first experience with hives, and would be her last bottle of Neocate. That experience triggered what I really had been looking for - a valid reason to dedicate myself to what was the only thing that actually made sense. She was 7.5 months old and I decided to go all in to try to heal her eczema and allergies from the inside out. My supply had been decreased a lot so I replaced Neocate with bottles of with mineral-rich free range chicken broth for her to sip on while also nursing as much as possible as well as introducing solids. No Farex or rusks for us, my daughter's first meals were organic beef mince cooked in broth with broccoli and a few strands of sauerkraut.
Our lifestyle changed a lot. I removed aother foods that were known to contribute to gut and skin irritation. It wasn’t always easy but I loved the feeling of being proactive, especially as we were now seeing great results. Her skin was clearing, she was putting weight on, she loved to eat and she looked so well. It wasn’t just about diet, we were making all sorts of changes from lifestyle, to environment, to stress management to mindset. Step by step, with an obvious transformation taking place in front of our eyes. I saw the dietitian one more time but chose not to continue as I didn't see the value in paying to argue with someone whose advice was considerably out of alignment with my own, and instead decided to work with a traditional foods nutritionist where we had super interesting discussions about the power of real food and who helped me stay motivated during those moments where it felt overwhelming. Instead of my old life of eating whatever I wanted without much thought, I now spent all my spare time researching about skin health, gut health and the immune system between shopping for and preparing food. I knew there were no guarantees but things were definitely changing.
Gut healing with allergies was a huge commitment. There was no just one wee bite of chocolate or one little peanut. My cravings came secondary to her needs. A lot of people at that time were heavily focused on GAPS but I had issues with it as an allergy protocol and the high histamine content so instead I designed my own gut healing protocol, tweaking as I went and as I learned more.
While we made clear improvements early on, it took a few months for my daughter’s skin to become super soft and supple, which was all the impetus I needed to keep going especially as I was barely using any creams. I continued to learn and follow my curiosity in translating information into actions.
The reality of raising a child in today’s world where so much of our lives are based around convenience (ours) and profit (theirs) and the normalisation of eczema/allergies/colic/reflux etc, meant I was constantly trying to explain my choices to others - this was difficult and often lonely. A big part of me was angry I received little support from the medical system but also recognising my own personality - tell me I can't do something and I'll want you to show I can. I met some incredibly knowledgeable people along the way whose input and support I’ll be forever grateful for, and those who inadvertently taught me the importance of standing in my own truth.
Before long, my daughter was no longer failing to thrive. She was very obviously and clearly thriving. Her allergist knew I had stopped using Neocate and reserved his opinion other than to remind me there was no scientific research to show dietary interventions or gut health had any impact on allergies. At the last appointment a few months later, her extremely rapid allergy resolution, something he'd only seen once before in his decades of practice, resulted in his encouragement I should just keep doing what I was doing - so I did. Other than being referred to the pubic hospital outpatient system for any testing going forward, we were doing this on our own. I'd seen a few naturopaths but often felt they were just throwing supplements at me, rather than educating me what was going on. At one years old, my daughter reached the 50th percentile in both height and weight. All her allergy scores had dropped by around 80% and she was eczema free.
At two years of age, her peanut RAST was at zero (the first food allergy to resolve), her egg RAST was almost at zero and she passed a baked egg challenge. Her cow's milk allergy score, originally the highest at 100+ had dropped by 90%. I weaned my daughter at 2.5 years old, a beautiful experience that ended naturally with no resistance, and I am grateful I fought for breastfeeding her as long as we did. I know of many babies who truly need hypoallergenic formula, but for us it wasn’t the right direction - breastfeeding as part of a gut healing diet was.
At three years of age, she was eating eggs and her dairy score was very close to zero. We introduced butter after passing a baked milk challenge but refusing the push to put her on normal milk as we had zero interest in introducing dairy products yet - an informed choice to help her gut continue to heal and flourish. Interestingly, she tested positive via Skin Prick Testing to both salmon and cashews around this time - we knew that salmon sometimes caused her issues with minor hives around her mouth sometimes after eating - something I now realise was a histamine sensitivity.
At four years of age, she was thriving with beautiful skin and sparkly eyes. The best news was that she had resolved all of her allergies. While still dairy free other than butter, gluten free, mostly grain free (other than white rice occasionally), junk free (as in no additives/preservatives/colours/flavours/HFCS), her first few years in building a strong nutrition and lifestyle foundation inspired my #raisedonrealfood philosophy. Eating out became so much easier as paleo cafes were all the rage then. Her favourite foods included sauerkraut, kombucha, organic chicken, avocado, and fruit. She loved her treats, especially chocolate. Deprived she was not. At this age, she knew she ate differently but didn't seem to mind, as long as when the other children were having something special, she got her own exciting alternative. Our friends were amazing and inclusive as much as possible. At five, she was a happy wee healthy spark with a lot of energy! She is well able to articulate thoughts on food and health and takes on these concepts with ease. She still ate mostly the same way loving her peanuts, almonds and cashews and definitely has a big sweet tooth we often have to talk about! Starting school was interesting, as she began to see she ate differently thanks to some children's thoughts on her bliss balls, preferring to not eat much at school but having a decent breakfast, after school snack and dinner. We also introduced cheese, raw milk and the odd ice-cream.
At nine years old, she tried McDonalds for the first time and wasn't hugely impressed. We really wanted her to help her learn how to navigate her own relationship with food and were no longer in active gut healing or maintenance. Now the goal was to help her find balance through experimentation and observation. At ten we introduced gluten, although for a few more years I was gluten free as I felt better that way. Only in the last 18 months, have we become a house that also has some gluten foods because that's really the goal of gut healing.
I'm updating this article in May 2024. My daughter is now thirteen. She's not been back to the doctors since she was a baby being diagnosed with eczema and allergies, for the simple reason there has not been any reason to. She has a great head on her shoulders and good relationship with food, knowing how to listen to her body and has grown up hearing our thoughts on nutrition, gut health and the world. Her mood, energy, sleep, digestion and skin are wonderful, and she still loves to eat nutrient dense foods. She occasionally gets a bit sneezy. While the days of her asking for seconds of cod liver oil are long gone, she still loves drinking the chicken broth she has grown up with. I put a jar of sauerkraut on the dinner table a while back, and she ate serves. She googled me not long ago, and read this article - it was strange to her to see it written in black and white. She knows everything we did to help her, but to her this is just normal. She loves natural skin care from rosewater spray to emu oil, to her it's fun - not a necessity.
I strongly believe that healing her allergies and eczema, especially as fast as we did, was not a coincidence. That once you start understand what's happening you can take strategic action - it's just knowing where to start and how all the dots connect. I know first hand watching your baby itch and be miserable is not a great space to be in, and the the best way to counter the fear and helplessness and sometimes also guilt, was to become empowered and educated. One of the hardest things I experienced was after she began to heal, instead of being supported and cheered on by my allergy coffee group I was shunned and mocked. The person who ran the group told that what I was sharing was irresponsible - she was doing gut healing too and had told me many times I was doing it wrong because I wasn't doing it her way. I knew it was hard to see but I'll never forget how upset I was when I turned up at a morning tea, and nobody would even speak to us. So I decided to create my own online community, one where members could learn about and support each other through learning about the holistic approach to skin and gut health without being told how crazy they were. The Healing Tribe still exists and has over 21,000 members.
In 2013, I studied and graduated as a Integrative Nutrition Health Coach with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition before launching my Raised on Real Food clinic. It's now been almost ten years in working with families and individuals both in New Zealand and worldwide to help guide and motivate them through eczema, allergies, food sensitivities, histamine intolerance and more. It's a topic very close to my heart. My daughter's diagnosis took me on an incredible journey. I wasn't happy with the conventional approach of suppressing, not addressing, and wanted more for her and us. Through our journey I was driven to help my daughter find freedom and healing, and it's a privilege to help others do the same. Gut healing is now far more well known but with this has also come an onslaught of contradictory information and magic promises leaving people more confused than before. I empower families to take control through their day to day choices and identify meaningful and sustainable adjustments while building a strong wellness foundation. This removes some of the guesswork, allowing them to better focus their energy, budget and time. While dealing with some of these challenges can feel very overwhelming, they are also incredible opportunities to live healthier and happier lives. Thank you for reading our story, and please know that if you're in that scared, hopeless and overwhelmed place right now, so was I once upon a time. You don't have to watch your child itch all the time, and you don't have to listen when they tell you the only thing you can do is put steroid cream on it. It just takes a first step, but know many of us have taken those steps already. You are not alone. Thanks for reading our story.
Love xx Maryana
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